I like to think of my delivery shifts as a road trip. I get six hours of tires on the pavement with a pizza as my co pilot. Life really doesn't get much sweeter than that. Obviously I have to stop at The Restaurant and get different co pilots because my cheese and pepperoni friends leave me to accompany a family for dinner but I like getting new additions to the party; it makes life interesting and I get to meet more people.
With any road trip comes the music. If you drive without music, something is very wrong with your life. If you doubt me, try it. I will eventually compile a list of my favorite driving songs but I digress, there's a story here worth telling. I like to listen to music at a pretty high level. If the music is too low I can't concentrate on the road and my destination. I do turn the music down when I get to a customer's house because I do not know their musical preferences. I really do not want to be blaring Backstreet Boys if a customer loves NSYNC that could mean a bad tip and maybe a fist fight which is bad for business.
Anyways, on this particular delivery I was listening to Lil Wayne's Blue Martian Mixtape which I HIGHLY recommend. The bass is ridiculous and Weezy is as incredible as ever. I pull into the driveway of a huge farm in the middle of nowhere and about seventeen barn cats charge my truck. I have to move fast to avoid these crazy beasts so I forget to turn the music down. As I dip, dive, and dodge pass these furry felines all while balancing a large supreme and a double wing, I hear my beats bumping from my truck like "Eye of the Tiger" played for Sylvester Stallone in Rocky. (Which is another great driving song...just sayin)
I finally get to the door and a woman of about 45 answers and makes my entire night with one sentence:
"Nice beats, you seem like you're having a good time" I love it when people appreciate Weezy.
"Thanks. I like to jam out when I'm on deliveries so then it's like a road trip" I laugh at the last part; everybody thinks I am crazy for the way I see delivering but they just don't get it. Delivering is exhilarating.
She invites me in to her old farm house so she can get the money ready. I was a little early because I also like to drive fast. I'm basically Mario Andretti behind the wheel. Deal with it.
When all is said and done, she tips me ten bucks which is a great tip. I thank her and wish her well and as I look down the path to my truck I remember all the cats just begging for attention. I do not have time for their cuteness so I rush to my truck and drive back to The Restaurant. I need to get a new co pilot.
I like when customers want to make conversation. I don't have time to go into detail about my life but when customers compliment on little things it really puts me in a good mood. I was having a rough night so her smile really made my night better. The lesson here is to never doubt how much a smile can effect somebody's day. Be nice to the people delivering your food. We REMEMBER people. I know the good tippers, the bad tippers, and the people that stink. Have you ever gotten a 2 Liter of soda that resembled Old Faithful when you opened it? Clearly you pissed off a delivery driver at one time. We have a ton of tools in our arsenal to mess with bad customers. And truth be told, I would rather have a nice person that gave an average tip of a few bucks than an asshole that tipped me five bucks. Niceness may not pay the bills but at least it can put me in a better mood. I don't mess with customers as much as I should because they're typically assholes after they've paid me. And I never want to push customers too far because they really are important but if you are a chronic no tipper odds are, I wont be nice at your door. If you can afford to order food, you can toss me a buck for bringing it to you.
The ride back is lonely with an empty pizza insulator in my passenger seat so I turn up the radio and let Weezy fill the void the pizza has left and I press my foot to the gas a little bit harder.
--The Chosen One.
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